Therapist: Anyways – Me: “Anyways” isn’t a word. Leaked picture of what heaven looks like… Me: I’m so glad winter is finally over Winter: Desperately trying to trick myself into doing some work > Harry Potter And The Role Of Accounting In Public Expenditure And Monetary Policy In The First Century AD Roman Empire When you sneeze so hard, your moustache changes lips It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store, where my pride realizes I have too much stuff to carry. When you do the entire group work yourself. When you love hunting but are a vegetarian. Which is a great way to end and start the year. If you start watching Shrek on December 31st at 11:48.48, Donkey saying “I’m makin waffles” will be perfectly synced with the switch from 2017 to 2018 at midnight. When you’re about to leave work and the oss says, “Before you go”. I like how they both look equally confused about this activity. What kind of SOCIOPATH does sock shoe sock shoe Thank you, student loans, for getting me through college. Do you do sock > sock > shoe > shoe, or sock > shoe > sock > shoe. My Mum asked me for a “formal picture” of my month old baby. When you want to go back to sleep and finish the storyline of your dream. My sister’s maternity pics… I’m cracking up When you’re druk and someone starts taking pictures.
#OLD MAN GAG GIFTS HOW TO#
This lady comes from a generation that knows how to enjoy the moment. I couldn’t find this little girl’s parents so I trapped her with dinosaurs so she wouldn’t run off while I find them. Anything less than that and you’ll tip over. With your current account balance, which Apple product ca you buy?Ģmph. Bring a photo of your dog and get $1 off your purchase. Other me: There’s sober children in Africa, finish it. When the professor is passionate about teaching and you genuinely understan and enjoy the class. Father of the year award goes to… This is every old man’s profile picture and it’s always uploaded 9 times. How I wake up after a 5 hour nap that I took after sleeping all night long. My girlfiend’s hairclip nearly put me in cardiac arrest. I am some form of permanently exhauted pigeon. Me: Do you thin twins ever get themselves mixed up and forget which ones they are? Don’t f*** with Raymond: He threw a lamp at another student and told them to “lighten the F*** up”. Remember Ice Cube? This is him now, feel old? If I have to parallel park, don’t invite me.
Still the best graduation cap ever: Game Of Loans. I’m totally against the selfie-stick but every now and then an exception comes along. And now ladies and gentleman, may I proudly present to you, the future. Me when I get home: When your girl says she doesn’t want anything from MCDonalds but you turn your head and see her like this Peta: Cows are friends not food.Ĭommenter: Name one cow you’re friends with. Me: ok I’m feeling really motivated, when I get home I’m going to sort my life out, get all of my work done and be successful. I googled ‘corgi shorts’ instead of ‘cargo shorts’ and it turned out fantastically.
Me anytime my pet alls asleep in a cute position. This is the type of guy you read about in math problems. So here he is, showing them to the dog! Every girl: OMG traveling is my passion!
His Dad said there was lots of Dog training videos on YouTube. Lincoln told his Dad he wanted to learn how to train his puppy. Not A Cop: If anyone is planning any illegal activities tonight let me know. Just told a guy talking on his phone in the library to shut the fuck up, and everyone applauded me, so I told them to shut the fuck up too. *Short People Suck* I wanted to erase it, but I couldn’t reach the sign. When you and your girl are arguing and you’re both wrong so you start mocking each other. I can’t wait to get to the part of my life where wearing suspenders with sweat pants is completely okay. What did you get? > I got diarreah but t was worth it. When you set your alarm every 5 minutes in the morning. When your nose is stuffed and you just sit there and think about the time when it was’t stuffed and how you just took breathing freely for granted. Did you just use a saxaphone as a Nike icon? Improvise.
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